{"id":616,"date":"2025-05-17T19:42:56","date_gmt":"2025-05-17T19:42:56","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/jspork.hamiltonlits.org\/?p=616"},"modified":"2025-05-19T04:02:42","modified_gmt":"2025-05-19T04:02:42","slug":"monster","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/jspork.hamiltonlits.org\/?p=616","title":{"rendered":"Monster"},"content":{"rendered":"\n
\"\"<\/figure>
\n

MONSTER
<\/h2>\n\n\n\n

Dennis Saddleman<\/p>\n\n\n\n

I HATE YOU RESIDENTIAL SCHOOL
I HATE YOU
YOU\u2019RE A MONSTER
A HUGE HUNGRY MONSTER
BUILT WITH STEEL BONES
BUILT WITH CEMENT FLESH
YOU\u2019RE A MONSTER
BUILT TO DEVOUR
INNOCENT NATIVE CHILDREN
YOU\u2019RE A COLD-HEARTED MONSTER\u00a0
COLD AS THE CEMENT FLOORS
YOU HAVE NO LOVE
NO GENTLE ATMOSPHERE
YOUR UGLY FACE GROOVED WITH RED BRICKS
YOUR MONSTER EYES GLARE\u00a0\u00a0
FROM GRIMY WINDOWS
MONSTER EYES SO EVIL
MONSTER EYES WATCHING
TERRIFIED CHILDREN
COWER WITH SHAME<\/p>\n\n\n\n

I HATE YOU RESIDENTIAL SCHOOL I HATE YOU
YOU\u2019RE A SLIMY MONSTER
OOZING IN THE SHADOWS OF MY PAST
GO AWAY LEAVE ME ALONE
I HATE YOU YOU\u2019RE FOLLOWING ME<\/p>\n\n\n\n

I HATE YOU RESIDENTIAL SCHOOL I HATE YOU
YOU\u2019RE A MONSTER WITH HUGE WATERY MOUTH\u00a0\u00a0
MOUTH OF DOUBLE DOORS
YOUR YELLOW STAINED TEETH CHEWED\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0
THE INDIAN OUT OF ME
YOUR TEETH CRUNCHED MY LANGUAGE
GRINDED MY RITUALS AND MY TRADITIONS
YOUR TASTE BUDS BECAME BITTER
WHEN YOU TASTED MY RED SKIN\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0
YOU SWALLOWED ME WITH DISGUST
YOUR FACE WRINKLED WHEN YOU\u00a0
TASTED MY STRONG PRIDE<\/p>\n\n\n\n

I HATE YOU RESIDENTIAL SCHOOL I HATE YOU
YOU\u2019RE A MONSTER
YOUR THROAT MUSCLES FORCED ME
DOWN TO YOUR STOMACH
YOUR THROAT MUSCLES SQUEEZED MY HAPPINESS
SQUEEZED MY DREAMS
SQUEEZED MY NATIVE VOICE
YOUR THROAT BECAME CLOGGED WITH MY SACRED SPIRIT\u00a0
YOU COUGHED AND YOU CHOKED
FOR YOU CANNOT WITH STAND MY
SPIRITUAL SONGS AND DANCES
<\/p>\n<\/div><\/div>\n\n\n\n

\"\"<\/figure>
\n

I HATE YOU RESIDENTIAL SCHOOL I HATE YOU
YOU\u2019RE A MONSTER
YOUR STOMACH UPSET EVERY TIME I WET MY BED
YOUR STOMACH RUMBLED WITH ANGER\u00a0\u00a0
EVERY TIME I FELL ASLEEP IN CHURCH
Your stomach growled at me every time I broke the school rules
Your stomach was full
You burped
You felt satisfied
You rubbed your belly and you didn\u2019t care\u00a0
You didn\u2019t care how you ate up my native Culture
You didn\u2019t care if you were messy
If you were piggy
You didn\u2019t care as long as you ate up my Indianness<\/p>\n\n\n\n

I hate you Residential School I hate you\u00a0
You\u2019re a monster
Your veins clotted with cruelty and torture
Your blood poisoned with loneliness and despair
Your heart was cold it pumped fear into me<\/p>\n\n\n\n

I hate you Residential School I hate you
You\u2019re a monster
Your intestines turned me into foul entrails
Your anal squeezed me
squeezed my confidence
squeezed my self respect\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0
then you dumped me
Dumped me without parental skills
without life skills
Dumped me without any form of character\u00a0\u00a0
without individual talents
without a hope for success<\/p>\n\n\n\n

I hate you Residential School I hate you
You\u2019re a monster
You dumped me in the toilet then
You flushed out my good nature
my personalities\u00a0<\/p>\n\n\n\n

I hate you Residential School I hate you<\/p>\n\n\n\n

You\u2019re a monster\u2026\u2026\u2026I hate hate hate you<\/p>\n\n\n\n


<\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/p>\n<\/div><\/div>\n\n\n\n

\"\"<\/figure>
\n

Thirty three years later\u00a0
I rode my chevy pony to Kamloops
From the highway I saw the monster
My Gawd! The monster is still alive
I hesitated I wanted to drive on
but something told me to stop
I parked in front of the Residential School
in front of the monster
The monster saw me and it stared at me
The monster saw me and I stared back
We both never said anything for a long time
Finally with a lump in my throat
I said, \u201cMonster I forgive you.\u201d
The monster broke into tears
The monster cried and cried
His huge shoulders shook
He motioned for me to come forward
He asked me to sit on his lappy stairs
The monster spoke
You know I didn\u2019t like my Government Father
I didn\u2019t like my Catholic Church Mother\u00a0
I\u2019m glad the Native People adopted me
They took me as one of their own\u00a0
They fixed me up
Repaired my mouth of double doors
Washed my window eyes with cedar and fir boughs
They cleansed me with sage and sweetgrass\u00a0
Now my good spirit lives
The Native People let me stay on their land
They could of burnt me you know instead they let me live
You dumped me in the toilet then
so People can come here to school restore or learn about their culture
The monster said, \u201cI\u2019m glad the Native People gave me another chance
I\u2019m glad Dennis you gave me another chance”
The monster smiled<\/p>\n\n\n\n

I stood up I told the monster I must go
Ahead of me is my life. My people are waiting for me\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0
I was at the door of my chevy pony\u00a0
The monster spoke, \u201cHey you forgot something<\/p>\n\n\n\n

I turned around I saw a ghost child running down the cement steps
It ran towards me and it entered my body
I looked over to the monster I was surprised
I wasn\u2019t looking at a monster anymore\u00a0<\/p>\n\n\n\n

I was looking at an old school In my heart I thought
This is where I earned my diploma of survival
I was looking at an old Residential School who
became my elder of my memories
I was looking at a tall building with four stories\u00a0\u00a0
stories of hope
stories of dreams
stories of renewal
and stories of tomorrow<\/p>\n<\/div><\/div>\n\n\n\n

\n
<\/div>\n\n\n\n
<\/div>\n<\/div>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

MONSTER Dennis Saddleman I HATE YOU RESIDENTIAL SCHOOLI HATE YOUYOU\u2019RE A MONSTERA HUGE HUNGRY MONSTERBUILT WITH STEEL BONESBUILT WITH CEMENT FLESHYOU\u2019RE A MONSTERBUILT TO DEVOURINNOCENT NATIVE CHILDRENYOU\u2019RE A COLD-HEARTED MONSTER\u00a0COLD AS THE CEMENT FLOORSYOU HAVE NO LOVENO GENTLE ATMOSPHEREYOUR UGLY FACE GROOVED WITH RED BRICKSYOUR MONSTER EYES GLARE\u00a0\u00a0FROM GRIMY WINDOWSMONSTER EYES SO EVILMONSTER EYES WATCHINGTERRIFIED […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[29],"tags":[35,32],"class_list":["post-616","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-literature","tag-indian","tag-poems"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/jspork.hamiltonlits.org\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/616","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/jspork.hamiltonlits.org\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/jspork.hamiltonlits.org\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/jspork.hamiltonlits.org\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/jspork.hamiltonlits.org\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=616"}],"version-history":[{"count":10,"href":"https:\/\/jspork.hamiltonlits.org\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/616\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":628,"href":"https:\/\/jspork.hamiltonlits.org\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/616\/revisions\/628"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/jspork.hamiltonlits.org\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=616"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/jspork.hamiltonlits.org\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=616"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/jspork.hamiltonlits.org\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=616"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}